I'm with Vince here. It's not that fucking long at all, get a grip. Maybe if it were 3x length it would need a tl;dr but it's not so quit bitching bitch.
One thing I would ask though is more spacing out. Like every two or three lines break into a new paragraph, like I did with this post.
Like this, see? It makes it easier to read than when it's one fat brick.